Goin' sparkin'

This morning I came home from a delicious chicken minis breakfast to find a light switch on the fritz. When I turned on the light in my bedroom, one bulb popped and the other two flickered like fireflies on meth. I replaced the bulb but the flickering didn't stop. I heard an odd tapping sound in the light switch at the same tempo as the flicker and I figured that was where I would find the problem.

After several frantic texts and phone calls to my savvy brothers I decided to attempt fixing it. I turned off the circuit and pried the plate off the wall. Threeofadozen told me to next turn the circuit back on and look for sparks. I never got around to that part. As I wrestled the plate off I decided I might as well just replace the light switch. It's a flat dimmer switch that works by tapping or holding your finger on it. I've always hated it because I could never tell when the lights were at their brightest. It seemed as good a time as any to ditch the bitch, so to speak.


I dashed over to Lowe's and got a cheap switch and wall plate, stopping briefly to stare at a woman in 6 inch stiletto peep toes. Seriously? Stiletto peep toes at a hardware store? In October?? I could just imagine her stubbing her dainty little toes or dropping a 2x4 on them. It actually made me smile a little inside. Then I scooted back home and got to work.

Can I just interject here that my handy dandy how-to manual from Home Depot said this particular chore would take 2 minutes for an expert, 7 for a novice? Yeah right. They should have said "add 15 additional minutes for a female novice." It took me between 20 and 30 minutes. To be fair, there were a lot more wires than what were illustrated. See below:


I struggled and swore and called Fiveofadozen twice (Where the eff is that grounding wire? Does it need a grounding wire?! Oh damn, I broke the hooked part off. Will it still work?). In the end I got everything together and screwed it back into the wall. I turned the circuit back on. No flickering, no tapping and definitely no sparking. Ta da!