After 2+ years of feeding the cats Eukanuba Indoor Hairball Relief I find myself changing their food again. Eukanuba doesn't sell it in large bags anymore and I don't want to pay more per pound for a small bag. I selected By Nature Adult Cat Formula because I was impressed by the ingredients: no corn, wheat or soy. Cats are carnivores, they shouldn't be eating cattle feed, right? And they don't really have a hairball problem, per se. I thought maybe a food they could digest better would eliminate the need for extra fiber, which is all there really is to "hairball relief". Plus there's a picture of a Bengal on the bag. Sold!
The cats are not as impressed as I was. The new kibble is X-shaped where the old was round. It has a different smell and texture. This is not food, in their opinion. I'm mixing it 50/50 with the old stuff. They are very good at finding the old and spitting out the new. There are half-empty bowls of cat food sitting around for the first time in... ever, actually. I'll give it a few more days but I don't think the cats are going to budge on this one. I may have to cut my losses and go back to Eukanuba.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Losing my religion
For several weeks I've had something on my mind that I haven't felt brave enough to share publicly. I think it's because I don't want to alienate people. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to think about anything else worth blogging, so my posts have been a bit sparse lately.
In my mid 20s I walked away from my parents' religion. I can't pinpoint when I lost faith. There was never a big angry moment when I decided I did not believe - but then there was never a shining spiritual moment when I decided I did. Looking back over my teen and pre-teen years I can't remember ever liking church. I enjoyed some of the activities but I didn't have much interest in the faith itself. After high school I went to a church-sponsored university because it was expected and I had never been allowed to consider going anywhere else.
Sometime in my late teens I stopped accepting Sacrament trays, stopped singing hymns and stopped saying "Amen" after prayers. I had this feeling that I didn't want to go through the motions unless I truly believed in them. To my father I'm sure it seemed like an act of rebellion but it was a lot more deliberate than that. I didn't want to make a commitment that I wasn't willing to follow through on. I also felt obligated to show my siblings that they didn't have to conform.
In spite of that I still went to church, partly because I needed an ecclesiastical endorsement if I wanted to stay in school. I was miserable and out of place and baffled by the beaming hypocrites who didn't share my reticence when it came to making empty promises. Not that they were all hypocrites; I do think there were a few people who genuinely tried to live by their faith. They seemed delusional to me but at least they were sincere. I tried to gain a testimony of my own but I was suspicious of my own feelings. Was I feeling the "Spirit" or was I feeling an adrenaline rush brought on by nerves? I couldn't tell.
While I struggled with faith, my mother was telling stories about supernatural happenings in her rural community. She said their former bishop was practicing witchcraft and sending demons to harass her. She said her neighbor was receiving visits from aliens. She said my entire family had been micro chipped by the government but there was an angel who had told her how to remove the microchips. She said my English professor (who wore a Masonic ring) was going to abduct me so that I could be brainwashed into serving the devil. I didn't know what to believe anymore. I became depressed and anxious. I had reoccurring nightmares. I started pulling out my hair. Finally I decided for my own sanity that I needed to take a break from every form of theism.
As I said before, I never had a defining moment when I decided the church itself wasn't true. After leaving I just didn't want to think about it anymore. Three years ago I briefly attended church again but I was extremely uncomfortable. I knew I didn't belong there. I think I have been afraid to think about my personal beliefs because I didn't want to be responsible for acting on them. I was always taught that deep down every person had a testimony. What if I found out I DID believe in the church? What then?
It has been a big relief to discover that deep down I don't believe in my parents' religion. It has been a bigger relief to discover that I don't believe in anything at all. No heaven, hell, deities or demons. All of that guilt-inducing rhetoric seems ridiculous to me. I am intrigued by the origins of myth and I might talk about it in a later post, but it's enough for me to say that I don't believe any of it and so far I haven't been struck by lightning.
In my mid 20s I walked away from my parents' religion. I can't pinpoint when I lost faith. There was never a big angry moment when I decided I did not believe - but then there was never a shining spiritual moment when I decided I did. Looking back over my teen and pre-teen years I can't remember ever liking church. I enjoyed some of the activities but I didn't have much interest in the faith itself. After high school I went to a church-sponsored university because it was expected and I had never been allowed to consider going anywhere else.
Sometime in my late teens I stopped accepting Sacrament trays, stopped singing hymns and stopped saying "Amen" after prayers. I had this feeling that I didn't want to go through the motions unless I truly believed in them. To my father I'm sure it seemed like an act of rebellion but it was a lot more deliberate than that. I didn't want to make a commitment that I wasn't willing to follow through on. I also felt obligated to show my siblings that they didn't have to conform.
In spite of that I still went to church, partly because I needed an ecclesiastical endorsement if I wanted to stay in school. I was miserable and out of place and baffled by the beaming hypocrites who didn't share my reticence when it came to making empty promises. Not that they were all hypocrites; I do think there were a few people who genuinely tried to live by their faith. They seemed delusional to me but at least they were sincere. I tried to gain a testimony of my own but I was suspicious of my own feelings. Was I feeling the "Spirit" or was I feeling an adrenaline rush brought on by nerves? I couldn't tell.
While I struggled with faith, my mother was telling stories about supernatural happenings in her rural community. She said their former bishop was practicing witchcraft and sending demons to harass her. She said her neighbor was receiving visits from aliens. She said my entire family had been micro chipped by the government but there was an angel who had told her how to remove the microchips. She said my English professor (who wore a Masonic ring) was going to abduct me so that I could be brainwashed into serving the devil. I didn't know what to believe anymore. I became depressed and anxious. I had reoccurring nightmares. I started pulling out my hair. Finally I decided for my own sanity that I needed to take a break from every form of theism.
As I said before, I never had a defining moment when I decided the church itself wasn't true. After leaving I just didn't want to think about it anymore. Three years ago I briefly attended church again but I was extremely uncomfortable. I knew I didn't belong there. I think I have been afraid to think about my personal beliefs because I didn't want to be responsible for acting on them. I was always taught that deep down every person had a testimony. What if I found out I DID believe in the church? What then?
It has been a big relief to discover that deep down I don't believe in my parents' religion. It has been a bigger relief to discover that I don't believe in anything at all. No heaven, hell, deities or demons. All of that guilt-inducing rhetoric seems ridiculous to me. I am intrigued by the origins of myth and I might talk about it in a later post, but it's enough for me to say that I don't believe any of it and so far I haven't been struck by lightning.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Day in, day out
I'm still working a lot, although I feel a little less stressed about it. My boss told me this is the kind of job where I will always have work to do and not to put in too much over 40 hours. I really needed to hear that.
Last week I had the lilacs pulled out. I am so happy they're gone! It's such a relief to not be dodging branches when I want to mow the lawn or use the front door. I need to find something to plant there now. I've been on a blackberry kick and I'm tempted to plant blackberry bushes but I don't think that's the sort of thing you put in your front yard.
This weekend I'm planning to cut down the saplings growing through my chain link fence. Man, do they grow fast. I may also have a reemergence of bindweed to deal with. Things looked a bit vine-y when I was mowing. I suppose I should also put down more weed-n-feed. There's always something to do around the yard. Yea for long weekends!
Last week I had the lilacs pulled out. I am so happy they're gone! It's such a relief to not be dodging branches when I want to mow the lawn or use the front door. I need to find something to plant there now. I've been on a blackberry kick and I'm tempted to plant blackberry bushes but I don't think that's the sort of thing you put in your front yard.
This weekend I'm planning to cut down the saplings growing through my chain link fence. Man, do they grow fast. I may also have a reemergence of bindweed to deal with. Things looked a bit vine-y when I was mowing. I suppose I should also put down more weed-n-feed. There's always something to do around the yard. Yea for long weekends!
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Mean Mr. Mustard
Remember last year when I freaked out that my cat might have mange? I'm afraid her bald spots have not improved. There are small patches on each of her front legs and a big one across her stomach. I realized a couple of weeks ago that these bald patches roughly match the areas that were shaved when I had her spayed. Each of her front legs was shaved to draw blood (one side clotted too quickly so they had to try the other) and of course her belly was shaved for the incision. It's been 3 years and the fur isn't back. I've watched her grooming and she nips the hair. I think that's why it won't grow. Part of me says I should leave her alone. If she wants a Brazilian then it won't hurt anything. The other part of me says I must fix this problem. Enter the mustard.
I despise mustard. My mother claims I ate a handful of hot English mustard at a bed & breakfast when I was 2, then screamed bloody murder. Who knows if that really happened? But regardless, I have never liked mustard in any form. Hot, mild, honey... They're all the same: disgusting. My sister, Twoofadozen, LOVES mustard so when she visited last summer I bought a bottle of French's just for her. It's been sitting in my fridge ever since. This kitty situation has finally presented a use for the yellow atrocity. For the last few days I've been slathering it on the cat's stomach. Observe:
Turns out she doesn't like it either. I can report that there has been exactly... no progress. I don't see any new hair growth and she's still trying to groom herself, only now she's making yucky faces. What I do see is an increase in yellow stains on my blanket. I'm not giving up yet, though. If the mustard doesn't work then I'm switching to cayenne pepper. She WILL grow that hair back.
I despise mustard. My mother claims I ate a handful of hot English mustard at a bed & breakfast when I was 2, then screamed bloody murder. Who knows if that really happened? But regardless, I have never liked mustard in any form. Hot, mild, honey... They're all the same: disgusting. My sister, Twoofadozen, LOVES mustard so when she visited last summer I bought a bottle of French's just for her. It's been sitting in my fridge ever since. This kitty situation has finally presented a use for the yellow atrocity. For the last few days I've been slathering it on the cat's stomach. Observe:
Turns out she doesn't like it either. I can report that there has been exactly... no progress. I don't see any new hair growth and she's still trying to groom herself, only now she's making yucky faces. What I do see is an increase in yellow stains on my blanket. I'm not giving up yet, though. If the mustard doesn't work then I'm switching to cayenne pepper. She WILL grow that hair back.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Crack a lackin
I'm once again under the care of a chiropractor. Don't worry, it's not the same one who said my pain was caused by my huge honkers - which turned out to be untrue because 10 months after reduction surgery I still have back pain. No, this guy is an intern at the local chiropractic college. He and his doctor-teachers prescribed an aggressive treatment regime involving adjustments and electrical stimulation twice a week for 6 weeks. After 4 weeks I can say the pain is subsiding. I still have an ache but I almost never get the tingling anymore.
He's not just treating the chronic midback pain. I also have lower back problems and tightness in the shoulders that pulls my neck and upper thoracics out. It's especially bad after a tense day, which I've had a lot of lately. I'm usually so tight that he can't move anything without marinating me in BioFreeze first. I think I'm becoming a BioFreeze junkie; that stuff is fantastic!
Today we found out just how potent the BioFreeze is. While adjusting me he nicked my back with a fingernail just enough to draw blood. Normally such a small cut would bead up and clot within seconds but this one kept bleeding & bleeding & bleeding. He tried swiping at it with an antiseptic wipe. That didn't work but it burned like a mother. I could tell he was getting a little panicked. He went looking for a doctor and a first aid kit while I laid down with a tissue on top of the cut. He came back and applied a bandaid - which I started bleeding through. The doctor who was observing him said the BioFreeze was probably causing an increased blood flow to the area. I knew it relaxed my muscles but I didn't know it could have an effect like that! Eventually with pressure and another tissue on top of the bandaid he got the bleeding to stop.
I don't know what's wrong with me but I thought the whole situation was hilarious. I could hardly wait to text my brothers and tell them about it. Poor guy. He told me he became a chiropractor because he didn't like blood.
He's not just treating the chronic midback pain. I also have lower back problems and tightness in the shoulders that pulls my neck and upper thoracics out. It's especially bad after a tense day, which I've had a lot of lately. I'm usually so tight that he can't move anything without marinating me in BioFreeze first. I think I'm becoming a BioFreeze junkie; that stuff is fantastic!
Today we found out just how potent the BioFreeze is. While adjusting me he nicked my back with a fingernail just enough to draw blood. Normally such a small cut would bead up and clot within seconds but this one kept bleeding & bleeding & bleeding. He tried swiping at it with an antiseptic wipe. That didn't work but it burned like a mother. I could tell he was getting a little panicked. He went looking for a doctor and a first aid kit while I laid down with a tissue on top of the cut. He came back and applied a bandaid - which I started bleeding through. The doctor who was observing him said the BioFreeze was probably causing an increased blood flow to the area. I knew it relaxed my muscles but I didn't know it could have an effect like that! Eventually with pressure and another tissue on top of the bandaid he got the bleeding to stop.
I don't know what's wrong with me but I thought the whole situation was hilarious. I could hardly wait to text my brothers and tell them about it. Poor guy. He told me he became a chiropractor because he didn't like blood.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
