Monday, May 3, 2010

Crack a lackin

I'm once again under the care of a chiropractor.  Don't worry, it's not the same one who said my pain was caused by my huge honkers - which turned out to be untrue because 10 months after reduction surgery I still have back pain.  No, this guy is an intern at the local chiropractic college.  He and his doctor-teachers prescribed an aggressive treatment regime involving adjustments and electrical stimulation twice a week for 6 weeks.  After 4 weeks I can say the pain is subsiding. I still have an ache but I almost never get the tingling anymore.

He's not just treating the chronic midback pain.  I also have lower back problems and tightness in the shoulders that pulls my neck and upper thoracics out.  It's especially bad after a tense day, which I've had a lot of lately.  I'm usually so tight that he can't move anything without marinating me in BioFreeze first.  I think I'm becoming a BioFreeze junkie; that stuff is fantastic! 

Today we found out just how potent the BioFreeze is.  While adjusting me he nicked my back with a fingernail just enough to draw blood.  Normally such a small cut would bead up and clot within seconds but this one kept bleeding & bleeding & bleeding.  He tried swiping at it with an antiseptic wipe.  That didn't work but it burned like a mother.  I could tell he was getting a little panicked.  He went looking for a doctor and a first aid kit while I laid down with a tissue on top of the cut.  He came back and applied a bandaid - which I started bleeding through.  The doctor who was observing him said the BioFreeze was probably causing an increased blood flow to the area.  I knew it relaxed my muscles but I didn't know it could have an effect like that!  Eventually with pressure and another tissue on top of the bandaid he got the bleeding to stop.

I don't know what's wrong with me but I thought the whole situation was hilarious.  I could hardly wait to text my brothers and tell them about it.  Poor guy.  He told me he became a chiropractor because he didn't like blood.


Mary said...

That's hilarious! Poor guy. "Mother, blood!"

Crack a lackin is what Marty the zebra always says on "Madagascar." It's a favorite around here.

The Joe said...

Still funny :)

Of course the therapist part of me wants to work on your upper back.

Well, I would walk 500 miles, and I would walk 500 more...when I haver, whatever that means, I wanna be the one that's havering to you.

Yea Lortab!!