Oh great, now I have guilt

If you're wondering how the saga of the boy and the date turned out, it didn't. I canceled about an hour before he was supposed to come over. I've felt horrible ever since. He has been so nice about it! He has apologized twice because *I* feel bad. I keep running into him in the elevator and different places in the building. He sent a text message and said he's sorry if it's awkward for me to see him. Which makes me feel even more guilty.

I think I'm getting a glimpse at the world of manipulative girls and how easy it is to push sensitive boys around. I've considered inviting him out for a movie just to show him I have no hard feelings and he doesn't have to feel bad that I feel bad... but that could make the situation worse. I really shouldn't play with the poor boy. I do feel bad though.

I know I was right not to pursue anything. There were things about him that I couldn't overlook. If I'm going to date someone with a high school education then I need him to make up for it with some kind of drive or passion. He has none. It also seemed like he had something negative to say about everything I brought up; he hates prequels, he thinks blogs are pretentious, he thought Firefly wouldn't have lasted another season (SciFi sacrilege!)... I didn't want to argue with him and it was really starting to bother me to bite my tongue.

With all his flaws, he is a human being and he deserved better than to be dumped minutes before a date. I feel guilty for treating him badly and I suppose I could have gone through with it. I just didn't want to spend an entire evening with him in my house and I really didn't want to deal with him putting the moves on me. Oh well. If I have to wait another ten years for someone to show interest in me I suppose I deserve it after this.