Thursday, February 26, 2009

My obsession

I will admit to having crushes on several actors, all of them older. Some of them MUCH older. In an attempt to prove I don't have a daddy complex I created a PowerPoint presentation (titled "Hot List") of the top 25 studs in my imaginary barn. I listed their ages, heights, and birthplaces under their pictures.

Then, not being satisfied with the pictures (I don't think any of them look like my dad but maybe I'm biased because I don't want them to), I proceeded to convert the whole thing into a spreadsheet. Complete with pivot table. Ah yes, I do love a nice spreadsheet. I calculated their average heights and dates of birth and the median place of birth. I was desperately hoping that 5'9", 1949, and Massachusetts would NOT appear.

My results showed that I prefer men (well, actors, and my mental jury is still out on whether they count as real men) who are 6'1", born in 1966, and hail from the UK. Not bad. I think I'm safe. But wait - what else do they have in common physically?

I ran a new set of calculations based on hair and eye color. I prefer brown hair and blue eyes, apparently. My dad has brown hair and green eyes which, according to my 5th grade science teacher, are genetically blue. Damn it! This is not good.

I could run yet another round of calculations based on the shape of their faces, distance from eyes to mouth, and ability to grow a beard but that's all so arbitrary. I'm exhausted, and thankfully all this math and science stuff has distracted me from lusting after the hotties. For now.

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